Welcome to Mother Willing. My name is Joy. I’m a “mid-to-late twenties” femme with a wife, a dog, a condo house and multiple “jobs,” actively creating a life in Seattle and environs. While dou.la work, teaching and grad school reading for pleasure take up the majority of my time, I’m always looking for opportunities to combine my passions for anti-oppressive education, community engagement, working with youth and families, birth and postpartum transition, and the list goes on…

My wife, Christine (although generally referred to in my writing as C), and I are hoping to use my womb, some on-ice donor sperm and our love to create a child or two, and then maybe foster parenting down the road. In addition to all the other amazing things going on right now, over the next couple years I’ll be intentionally working toward becoming a mother: biologically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And just as life as a mother is not limited to children, life as a mother-in-training, and therefore this blog, will not be limited to just baby-planning/making related topics and posts. I would say that this blog may very well contain contains posts on a myriad of topics including my work, school, politics, relationships, travel, theory, community, body, dog, finances, fears and hopes, while always intentionally working toward our ultimate goal of motherhood.

The title of my blog is in a sense a play on the phrase “God willing” which is often used to “indicate hope for an aforementioned event to occur in the future,” the event being motherhood. While my personal spirituality does not currently include a god-figure per se, I like the idea that godliness=creation:creation=motherhood therefore mother=god. Perhaps my logic is blasphemous, but it works for me.

Feel free to contact me at joy seattle @ gmail . com

People mentioned:

C – Christine or Chris, as well as the term of endearment I call her, aka my wife/partner/best friend

Kai – our feisty and cuddly chihuahua-mix

BGF D – my best gay/guy friend of 10+ years who lives in S.F. Hawaii

BFF D – my best friend forever/female of 10+ years who lives in another big city in the PNW

LNL – Lovely Needle Lady, aka my acupuncturist and herbalist

LSK – my (much) younger little sister


Less Frequent:

Friend D – aka OFD – our good friend (and my former “boss” at my last non-dou.la job)

Friend F – our friend, and Friend D’s good friend, who’s currently recently back from traveling the world

Friends J and S – former Seattle-based former hetero-couple, they now live in LA

DD – a post.partum dou.la friend

Nana – my mom’s mom and one of my favorite people in the world

Dr. Boss/Doc Boss – nicknamed because of her position as chief of ob and her very direct personality, she’s the ob/gyn who’s helping with the initial stuff, but not the nitty-gritty and (hopefully) not the delivery

Dr. Right – primary care doctor through my insurance, so far (after 1 visit) I’m happy with her care

Dr Midwife – ND/midwife who came to speak to our May.be Baby group

UF – my maternal uncle and one of my favorite people in the world

UJ – my maternal uncle, living abroad with his wife, UJWN, and their new son, BCFT


Other terms:

dou.la – the term of my profession, usually spelled without the period in the middle, which I use to keep this blog and my business website less connected

b dou.la – bi.rth

pp dou.la or ppd – post.partum

cbe – child.birth educator or child.birth education

LC – lac.tation con.sultant

CCS – couple’s counseling sessions



  1. here ya go! 🙂

    > 1. Someone who seems to have a lot of close friends.
    > 2. Someone you’ve known for a long time.
    > 3. Someone you’d like to trade places with.
    > 4. Someone who seems likely to be a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
    > 5. Someone who seems like a chatterbox.
    > 6. Someone who seems to have a lot of wild ideas / fantasies.
    > 7. Someone who seems like they were popular at school.
    > 8. Someone you think you would have been close to if you went to school together.
    > 9. Someone you want to stay up all night talking to.
    > 10. Someone who can look after children.
    > 11. Someone who seems to fall in love a lot.
    > 12. A beauty.
    > 13. Someone who seems like a celebrity.
    > 14. Somone who is girly / manly
    > 15. Someone you want to dress up as the opposite gender.
    > 16. Someone grown-up.
    > 17. Someone childlike.
    > 18. Someone who is like a princess / prince.
    > 19. Someone who seems capable.
    > 20. Someone who has a unique view on life.
    > 21. Someone S-type.
    > 22. Someone M-type.
    > 23. Someone you think of as your boss.
    > 24. Someone who would kill you if you got on their bad side.
    > 25. Someone who seems good at seduction.
    > 26. Someone you think you could seduce.
    > 27. Someone who loves with all their heart.
    > 28. Someone you want to see in cosplay.
    > 29. Someone you seriously want to go on a date with.
    > 30. A message to all the above people.

  2. Hey Joy! Thanks for the comment. I didn’t realize you were out here in the ttc blogosphere. I’m going to have to add you to my blog roll and and see where you two end up. So good to find more wonderful ladies here in Seattle!

  3. I just stumbled here from I don’t can’t remember where. Good luck in your journey. I’m going to add you to my blog roll.

    Best of luck!

  4. Hi! It’s Carrie from eatpooplove. Thanks for reaching out. We move to WA later this year, and I will definitely check in once we get there. Would be awesome to meet up!

    • Carrie, have you moved yet?

      • Yup! She moved! Great gals they all are! Damn cute kid too!

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