Posted by: Joy | September 4, 2009

Planning vs Surrender

Olive asked in the comments of my last post if we’re planning to start ttc next month. I’ve been a bit vague about our actually plans, because as of now there are contingencies to them. Or maybe more so at this point I’m trying to avoid even the word “plan,” which is actually rather odd because I’m, well, a planner.

The fact of the matter is that  C feels better focusing on one “thing” at a time (quite the opposite of me, Ms. Multiple-balls-in-the-air). As part of my new self-actualization program (not really, but let’s go with it) I’m trying to a.) be more cognizant of the concept that partners can play equal roles in the decision-making, including timing, of major life events and b.) surrender more and plan less. So in that vein, we’re not officially starting ttc until we (both) feel “ready” (read: our condo is on the market). We know that there’s always something else you can do before you’re “ready,” (travel, work more, save more, etc) but this is a big one on our list, the one we’ve been talking about for years and the one that we are *this close* to right now.

By *this close*, I mean we’re within a realistic two-week window of being done. Without further ado, our list of becoming “market-ready” to-dos:

  • Kai stays with my family so that we can focus on this following list
  • C finishes packing the last of her stuff (Tuesday afternoon/evening)
  • Deep cleaning kitchen, bathroom, windows and walls (Tuesday, Wednesday)
  • Spackle various nail holes and paint 2-3 walls (Tuesday, Wednesday)
  • Carpets professionally cleaned (Wednesday 9:00am)
  • Meeting with our REA to go over paperwork and plan staging (Wednesday)
  • Paperwork from escrow company
  • Final staging with REA (Thursday)
  • Paperwork to our mortgage loan officer for final pre-approval

So, in walking the new and fine line between surrender and plan, here is a list of things that will happen (along with rough time frames that they *could* happen). I’d like to see this less as mapping out the future (which I’m known for) and more as setting my positive intentions.

  • Today is CD 14, O should be soon
  • There may or may not be an online shopping cart with insem supplies waiting to be submitted
  • I may or may not have two consultations books with local homebirth midwives for next Wednesday and Thursday
  • CD 1 should be on or around September 20th
  • HSG has been ordered and they are only preformed on CD7-9 (Monday Sept 28th is FF’s predicted CD9)
  • O predicted for Sunday October 5th (ah, weekend insem(s) would be lovely)
  • Early October (possible first tww) will include the beginning of autumn quarter, our local conference and C and I taking a trip to OK to visit family and attend a conference

Well, it appears that I may have some more work to do in the “allowing myself to surrender” department. I guess learning that balance while still remaining engaged in this process will be my new intention.



  1. planning and surrender what a balancing act while tccing. I wish you luck in the balance.

  2. It is hard to find that balance. I’m excited for the nearness of your plans, though. It sounds like things are coming together and soon!

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