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This challenge topic is an appropriate one considering that I’m spending time with “my first love” right now, as that person is actually my best friend, D. The short version of our history is that D and I met in the fall of 1998 when I moved into the neighborhood that he grew up in and because of our proximity two streets apart, we rode the same bus to school. I knew the first day I met him that I wanted to get to know him, but it took awhile before we ended up sitting near and talking to each other regularly. Over time I also became friends with some of the same crowd and then eventually we started hanging out together outside of school. We were friends for over a year and then the following summer (while I was dating some else) the amount of time we spent together gradually increased and it was clear that we were very close. When D said three little words that changed everything, and when I realized that I loved him too, our relationship shifted. (After I ended it with the other guy,) D and I seamlessly moved to the second phase of our relationship, the romance. From there we had an amazing, fun and exciting couple of years that included lots of first experiences, travel and becoming adults. During that time, D lived in London and I went and lived with him for an extended stay that was one of the most memorable times of my life. After his return, our relationship was different and ended phase 2 shortly after followed shortly by his coming out to me. These seemed like two distinct, yet unsurprising things, and we remained friends. Since I had already come out (as bi) almost 2 years prior, we had a new-found openness and connection as members of the LGBTQ community. We’re now in what I guess would be Phase 3 of our relationship, life-long friends, closer in many ways than any other relationship I’ve had in my life. Our early days, romance and friendship are all part of our complex and amazing past that have impacted us both and that I know we both treasure.

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